


Lost

by Katherinexx1



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Drunk Fox Mulder, F/M, Friendship/Love, Help, Romance, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 02:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19803256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katherinexx1/pseuds/Katherinexx1
Summary: He smiles at the sound of her sweet voice.Now an anchor to his lost ship, a beacon of light in his darkness.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> On twitter I was given this prompt by @ktcosmic___:
> 
> Mulder accidentally locks himself out of his apartment - he turns up at Scully’s very late ( or v early) - he’s depressed at where his life’s going ... Scully makes it all better...
> 
> I tried to work with that.
> 
> Hope you like what I came up with.

His hands desperately search for a spare key in his pockets. The highly intoxicated levels of alcohol surely aren’t helping his search. He holds himself steady against the doorframe as he then slowly collapses on the cold hallway floor. 

Suddenly the color of his sight disappears and it all changes into some greyish mess and then pitch black. A loud thumping sound in his ears prevents him from falling asleep right there on the spot. 

A gush of fresh air makes him open his eyes again, he shivers and remembers briefly what he is doing at the tiles in front of his door. 

He groans hard and pats his jacket pockets to find his phone. Lucky he’s got a speed dial installed for moments like this, and his thumb presses 1 long and hard. 

Patience is something Fox Mulder lacks… but now he waits long enough to hear the connection being made.

“S..ully…” he mumbles almost inaudible. 

After a long silence, he finally gets his answer. “Mulder, is that you?” her voice sounds soft and sleepy. 

Through his drunken haze, he smiles at the sound of her sweet voice. Now an anchor to his lost ship, a beacon of light in his darkness. She keeps calling his name desperately, demanding him to answer her. Fearing the worst if he doesn’t answer soon. He can hear her desperation through her voice. 

“Mulder, where are you? What’s going on…?” she sounds very awake now and very concerned, still waiting for a sound of life. 

“Can’t… in apartment…” he wasn’t able to form sentences, so a few words should make clear to her what the problem was.

“You can’t what? Damnit, Mulder… Stay where you are!” she said and the line went dead. 

His phone fell out of his hands and he collapsed with it. 

***

“Mulder…!”

Somewhere in a far distance, he feels her breath brush over his face. 

“Mulder!!”

Her arms gently shake his body and pick his head up into her lap. Her voice starts to get anxious. 

“Mulder!!!” she brings life back to his lifeless body. Her hands were ice cold and tapped his cheeks to get him to react. Scully sat next to him and his head rested in her lap. 

“Mulder, can you hear me?” she whispered, trying not to wake the neighbors. Her head was so close to his. For being drunk as hell, he stares back at her. She is so beautiful, he thinks. 

At 1 AM in the morning, it wouldn’t be appreciated to be woken by a drunken FBI agent. 

He groans and slowly gains consciousness again. His eyes roll back every time he wants to open them.

“You stink Mulder, jeezzzz pure alcohol!” she says, blaming him and judging him for drinking. He knows she hates that, but at least she’s here now. 

“Locked… self… out!” he mutters against her shoulder as she tries to get him to stand again. 

“Can you stand up, Mulder?” Scully asks softly, while her hand holds his chest up and her other arm supports him. His knees still feel weak, but he tries his best for her to keep up. 

He slowly composes himself and nods at her. 

“Let me try my spare key,” she says to him while she tries to get the key into the lock, making sure he doesn’t fall over.

“Mulder, where is your key?” she asks him, her blue eyes more awake now try to anchor him. 

His consciousness slowly fades again and a shy, guilty smile forms on his lips. 

“Inside... guess!” he wobbles on his feet, points at the door and Scully sees no other option than taking him with her. 

“You locked yourself out mister!” she sighs, closes her eyes and purses her lips, while she supports him and guides him with her to the elevator.

“You’re coming with me,” she whispers, holding him the best she can. 

“Don’t wanna dance, S..ully!” he comically blurted out in his drunken haze, through several hiccups and burps, pointing his finger at her, giving her a sweet smile. 

“I promise, we won’t!” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here, drink this!” she says when she kneels down in front of him. 
> 
> His eyes hazily look at her and he smiles when his fingers glove around the cup she’s offering. He doesn’t wait and empties the entire glass in a few big gulps.

She manages to get him into her car and safely to her apartment. It’s already 1.30 AM but it seems the half hour nap had worked wonders on him. As she parks her car at her place he wakes up slowly. Still oblivious of his whereabouts, Scully gently leads him to her apartment. 

He silently mutters a few words and sentences, but she can’t understand a word he is saying. 

Scully really needs to know what drove him into drinking that much. This isn’t his normal behavior and as his partner and doctor, she needs to know how his mental state is.

With him leaning against her shoulder she manages to open her apartment door and stumble inside. 

“Mulder… couch....!” she commands him. He waddles on his own to the couch and falls down. 

Scully immediately starts making some strong coffee and fills him a big glass of water. 

“Here, drink this!” she says when she kneels down in front of him. 

His eyes hazily look at her and he smiles when his fingers glove around the cup she’s offering. He doesn’t wait and empties the entire glass in a few big gulps.

Scully stares at him, wondering what drove him to drink himself Lazarus, her hand gently caresses his knee, waiting for him to react. 

Her eyes slowly trail his face and chest as she slowly gets up. The moment she wants to check on the coffee machine, his hand grasps her wrist. She startles and her eyes find him again.

“Hmm?” she hums in demand. He looks up at her, his face filled with regrets and shame. He doesn’t have to say a word, she knows how sorry he feels. 

“Let me get you some coffee, ok?” she reassures him, she will listen and stay with him for as long he needs. He nods relieved and releases her arm. 

On her way over to the kitchen, she realizes she’s still wearing her long coat and before joining him, she swiftly tiptoes to the bedroom to replace it with her dressing gown over her silk blue pajamas. 

She pours them both a cup of coffee and she hands him the cup, while she sits down next to him. 

“Thank you!” he whispers, looking in her direction, his eyes still lazy and drunk.

“You’re welcome, Mulder,” she whispers back, her hand finds his knee again and he smiles lightly at the sensation of her warmth on his leg. 

“What happened to you?” she gently starts her investigation, “You look like, you spend days on the streets, your clothes, 5 o’ clock shadow, and… you stink! This isn’t your normal behavior, Mulder.” 

He hears her words and nods without even objecting anything she says. He looks ashamed and depressed and can’t seem to bring himself to talk to her. 

“I know, Scully, I know…!” he sighs, the alcohol still lingering through his speech and tongue. He finds her hand on his knee and squeezes it gently. A wee sign he needs her.

He sips his coffee and the caffeïne starts working, he wakes up more and more from his haze. 

Scully knows he wants to talk, but he needs to find the exact words to confide in her. He was still too intoxicated by alcohol to get his senses straight. 

She needed him to feel welcome and comfortable.

“You know what, Mulder, you just need to freshen up, take a shower and you’ll feel much better. How does that sound?” she whispers while her hand rubs his knee and softly pat it, her eyes search desperately to him to answer her. A small glance is all she gets. 

“I don’t want to bother you with that, it's late and you need your rest...!” he mutters, avoiding her stare. 

“Mulder, listen to me, you are my friend, I’m worried about you and I want you to be comfortable and at ease. Please, just take a shower and you’ll feel like a new man. I promise it’s no problem at all," her voice is crystal clear and he knows she means well. She’s his only friend he has in this world. But he feels so ashamed of getting her to see him like this. 

The gruesome ghost of the FBI agent he is, he is so much more than this, but somehow life seems too harsh at the time.

He slowly gets up and walks towards her bathroom, he knows the way. Scully carefully follows him and before he enters the room, she squeezes his shoulder gently and rubs his back. 

“If you need anything, I’m right here,” her gentle blue eyes stare softly at him as he looks over his shoulder. He grins and taps her hand briefly of his shoulder. He knows she means well and she wants to take care of him, and she does, he just has to accept it.

“Throw your clothes outside Mulder, I’ll put them in the washing machine right away,” she says before he closes the door. 

He waits and thinks, still holding the door handle.

“I have some clothes from you here, just in case. They got stuck into my overnight bag on some assignment and I forgot to give them back,” she takes away his doubt on having to show up naked after his shower. It's so cute she still has clothes of his, he didn't even miss them.

He closes the door and steps under the pouring water, wishing it would wash away all of his doubts and sorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts?
> 
> x


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrapped in only a towel, still dripping wet he stares at her. Completely caught off guard Scully struggles to compose herself. Her eyes find his stare, he looks straight at her, deep into her eyes as if the water has cleaned him from everything that was bothering him. His gaze is full and intense. She feels it deep into her heart.

He did what she ordered him to do, his clothes were thrown on a pile at the door and she immediately takes them to wash them. 

She finds an old Knicks t-shirt and black jogging pants for him to wear. When she hears him turn off the tap she knocks on the bathroom door.

“Mulder?” she waits for his response.

“Yeah?!” his voice sounds muffled, probably drying himself off, but sounds a lot more like him than it did before. 

“I've found some clothes for you to wear,” she informs him and before she could ask where to put them, he opens the door. 

Wrapped in a towel, still dripping wet he stares at her. Completely caught off guard Scully struggles to compose herself. Her eyes find his stare, he looks straight at her, deep into her eyes as if the water has cleaned him from everything that was bothering him. His gaze is full and intense. She feels it deep into her heart.

He softly smiles and he doesn’t even care he’s almost naked in front of her. It might still be the alcohol which makes him feel invincible, but the moment only lasts a few seconds.

“Thank you,” his soft voice says, breaking the silence and waking her from the state she seems to be in. She hands him his clothes and can’t help but lingering her gaze over his chest and abs. He has an incredible body she thinks silently to herself.

Her eyebrow arches as she feels caught by him waiting to shut the door to put his clothes on. A nervous cough escapes her throat and she swiftly closes the door and heads back to the couch. 

Her heartbeat was racing in her chest and she realizes what caused it. Fox Mulder is a very handsome man and she wasn’t insensitive for his looks and the person he is. Highly intelligent, caring and most of all her best friend.    
He followed her into the living room only a minute later, and she had to ban those thoughts of his out of her mind. 

“Feel better?” she says, meeting his eyes, trying to hide her shyness, but failing miserably. 

She nervously licks her lips and sips her coffee, curling her legs under her.

“Yes, I feel much better! Thank you Scully!” he says and sits down next to her, his hand resting on her knee when he descends. Not that he needed any support, just his way of saying he appreciates what he does for him.

He sips his coffee and clearly feels soberer than an hour ago. 

“Have you ever felt like you don’t belong, Scully? Like they say, a place filled with people and still feel alone.” he waits, scans her face and briefly trails his eyes over her lips. 

“Sure Mulder, I think everyone feels like that from time to time,” she answers calmly, answering his stare as well. Her eyes dart over his lips to his eyes and back. 

“I was far gone, Scully… Suddenly my mind seemed to be exploding with memories and thoughts. Not fun thoughts, but lonely, dark and evil thoughts. Every negative thing that ever happened seemed to conquer the good, consumed it. And I fought it, kept fighting and fighting, but nothing seemed to help. My past, my present, my future… one blank space.” his face didn’t smile anymore, it was pure agony and pain. 

Scully felt it too, the way he said those words, the way he formed his sentences. She grabbed his hand and intertwined her fingers with his. 

“You are not alone, Mulder. You’ve got me... “ she whispers, her voice so soft, not knowing if he wanted to hear it or if he would actually hear it. 

He gently squeezed her fingers, he heard her and he knows she’s there for him.

“Everything seemed so dark, so empty and cold. The loss of my sister, learning how my family messed up my life and I kept digging for the truth, dragged you with me into my misery, I will never forgive myself. They took you, abducted you, the tests, left you barren, …” he sobs and collapses. Scully catches him and lets him fall against her shoulder and chest. Her arms wrap around him and she tries to soothe him.

“Mulder… listen to me…” she whispers in the nap of his neck, while her fingertips caress his hair. Her warm breath brushes his skin. “I don’t blame you and I never will, please never say that again. I followed you, that was my own choice and I accepted the consequences. But I would never ever blame you for what happened to me.” 

Her voice calms him, her hand gently rubs his back as she continues: “Mulder, I followed you because I believed in your quest, your search for the truth, I believe in the man behind the quest. I’m a scientist, I feel the need to prove you wrong, prove that not everything has to be unexplained. But Mulder, I’ve seen things, strange phenomena science can’t explain - yet-. You challenge me to be smarter, to give the best of myself. You complete me, you complete the believer in me. I’m here with you and for you, and that will never change. I would never give up on you, please don’t give up on me.” Her voice cracks as she said that last sentence. His head still rests against her shoulder, his arms firmly around her.

“These men, these people who did this to your sister, your family, you and me, need to be prosecuted, they need to be brought to justice, Mulder! We owe that to your dad, Samantha, my sister, and also to ourselves. They have to be punished for their crimes. And I can’t do this without you, Mulder! I choose to be by your side, and that is where I’ll be when we finally catch them.” she swallows hard and tries to hold back her tears.

His eyes suddenly face hers. His face is still wet with tears, but he smiles, genuinely smiles at her. The lost tear that finally decides to roll down her cheek is captured by his thumb.

His smile grows wider and his hand cups her face. He feels her words deep into his heart, it’s a blunt truth, a painful truth, a truth few would dare to face, but he is willing to face it with her. 

She’s right, he isn’t alone in this, he has her. But in his deep depressed mind, he was selfish enough to think she wouldn’t even care to follow him. But she does, she wants to, she’s…

Their eyes lock and things shift between them. It all becomes crystal clear, lucid, simple. He breathes her in and she stares back into his hazel warmth. His fingertips slowly pull her closer and his lips graze hers. Softly, barely touching, he waits and feels. His heart races and his muscles tense. He is so close now, breathes mix and eyes flutter. She waits and lets him. He acts. Bravely he nips her lips, grasping them tenderly, melting with hers. He tastes her and she feels him so close, so near. Her fingers touch his cheek, inviting him in. He kisses her, lazily, carefully. His tongue briefly darts out, slipping into her mouth. She gladly welcomes him sliding her tongue slowly over his. 

They both gasped lightly. A wonderful moment shared in the middle of the night. 

He moves back, rubs her cheek and leaves a few sweet pecks lingering on her lips. Their eyes need a minute to open again, and as they do, they immediately meet. 

“Amazing how you every time know exactly what to say, Scully” he whispers against her lips, while his thumb grazes her cheek. “Thank you!” he mouthed, while his hand trailed her jaw and finds her hand in her lap. 

She needs a minute to compose herself. Her face flush and she bites her bottom lip, still sensing his presence on it. She smiles, shyly, but happy. Her rosy cheeks glow and her eyes sparkle as she meets his gaze again.

He tries to reassure her that this kiss doesn’t change a thing between them. It’s something he wanted to do for so long, but never found the perfect moment for it. This also wasn’t exactly the most memorable moment either, but it felt right. 

She got up and pours herself a glass of water. On her way back to the couch she feels brave enough to say something. 

“Alcohol isn’t the solution, Mulder! It never is. It’s the devil, claiming he wants to help you, luring you in, but making it far worse. Pushing you into the depths of even worse trouble. Please remember instead of turning to alcohol… turn to me,” She says quietly, her finger drawing crescent moon shapes on his palm, hoping he understands. 

“It sounds so simple now, but I was so lost, Scully, so far gone I was convinced alcohol could save me. And yes… I drank too much and locked myself out.” he grins at his own stupidity. 

“But… it led me to you!”

She looks over her cup, chuckles, and nods. She finally sees her Mulder shine through again. 

Her eyes sparkle and she smiles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue?
> 
> Let me know what you think...

**Author's Note:**

> Ready to hear some feedback...
> 
> x


End file.
